Sure, I am Always Talkin’ Food, but I teach NT2 (Dutch as a second language) on the side. Mainly to young foreigners who came to Amsterdam for or with love and intend to stay. For privacy reasons the names in these columns are fictitious.
'I kinda like it,' says Massimo from Milan.
We are debating a typical Dutch phenomenon in class: our infamous directness.
Or, as some of my students would describe it, our notorious rudeness.
'Are we really that direct?' I want to know quasi offended. ‘Hoezo?’ (how so?)
Laughter is my share, after which they hit me with examples. From Tinder dates where all demands are instantly laid on the table, to business negotiations.
'In Italy’, says Massimo, ‘everyone beats about the bush. You never get a direct answer. Meetings take hours, because no one says what they really think. The Dutch, at least, are honest.’
’You call that honest.’ Pilar from Spain had some trouble getting used to the fact that the Dutch always get straight to the point, in business and in pleasure. ‘As if you have barely stepped into the boxing ring and already suffer your first punch.’
She thinks that no Dutch person has ever heard of small talk. They jump at you right away. Which means that you yourself also have to be sharp from the very first moment. ‘The Dutch really hit the ground running.’
Massimo doesn’t disagree, but he admires this quality: ‘That’s why they’re always one step ahead.’
’So it does work, this kamikaze technique,’ I cautiously suggest.
’Maybe, but we have our own tactics,’ Colette from Lyon reacts. ‘Why do you think we serve those extensive business lunches doused in wine?’
’But then you have to stay sober and hardly eat yourself,’ I respond. ‘Such a waste of good French food and wines.’
Massimo agrees. ‘Dutch business lunches, and Tinder dates too for that matter, are a lot more efficient, faster and cheaper: they only require the time needed to have a glass of milk and a broodje kaas. Maybe a biertje in the case of a Tinder date.’
Food lingo
glass of (oat/soy/almond/coconut) milk - het glas (haver/soja/amandel/kokos)melk
business lunch - de zakenlunch
(dinner/lunch) course - de (diner/lunch)gang
Direct from Lyon
Of course, the broodje kaas story has become something of an urban myth. Many Amsterdammers do go out for lunch these days, and for much more than just a broodje. A favourite lunch address is Bouchon du Centre where chef patron cum waitress Hanneke cooks as in the traditional ‘bouchons’ in Lyon, France. That means blanquette de veau, gratons Lyonnais, escargots, tête pressée and other nose-to-tail dishes.
No food for wimps, to put it directly.
Bouchon du Centre, Falckstraat 3 Amsterdam. Open Wed-Sat, 12 noon- 4 PM.