“I officially became a Dutchman last weekend”, Orhan from Turkey proudly reports upon entering the classroom.
I had no idea. Orhan has been my student for some time now, but he never mentioned any such thing before.
And this while we had seen each other last Saturday during our field trip.
Moreover: on the weekend?
My curiosity is more than piqued, and not just mine. “Vertel, Orhan! (Do tell!) We’re all ears.”
We, that’s, apart from myself, two students from Ukraine, two from Lithuania, one from Egypt and one from Iran.
Orhan begins, “Saturday night when I cycled home, I had had a few biertjes—”
Muffled laughter.
”I stopped at FEBO and pulled a broodje kroket from the vending machine.”
Aha!
In Dutch, an after-hours visit to the local snack bar is called een vette bek halen.
Recently, there was much ado about the upcoming Amsterdam regulation for earlier closing hours of snack bars. City councillors were complaining that such a measure would deprive local citizens (read: themselves) of the opportunity om een vette bek te halen.
A ritual that is part of Dutch culture, into which Orhan is now initiated.
But Orhan is not finished yet.
He continues, “I got on my bike with het broodje in my hand and ate it while cycling home”. He demonstrates how he held the handlebars with one hand and put the croquette sandwich to his mouth with the other.
”Dus nu ben ik een echte Nederlander.” (So, now I’m a true Dutchie)
His reasoning is watertight.
Or is it?
Sergy from Ukraine is left with a compelling question, “Did you also text while cycling with your phone in one hand?” To which Kader from Iran adds, “Or roll a cigarette on the bike with two hands, as I’ve seen cyclists do?”
Turns out there might be more to becoming a Dutchman.
PS While it is true that there are cyclists in the Netherlands who engage in some (or all) of the above behavior, my advice would be: don’t do this at home.
In the bookshops: Marjan Ippel, Nederlands is zooo makkelijk | Dutch is sooo easy.
Order it here or at Bol.com, or ask for it at your local Dutch/Belgian bookshop.
After-hours lingo
Na sluitingstijd - after hours
FEBO - Amsterdam-originated snack bar chain since 1941, famous for its automatiek—a wall-to-wall vending machine with little ‘snack hatches’
Een diagonaaltje trekken - pull snacks from the vending machine along a diagonal line. Typically an after-hours activity
Een vette bek halen - literally: fetching yourself a greasy gob. Coating the consumed alcohol with a layer of greasy food. Typically an after-hours activity
Het broodje kroket - croquette sandwich
