Anya from Russia* is back in my class. After traveling around the world with her Dutch boyfriend, she is ready for the next step: further perfecting her Dutch.
All entirely according to her tight planning.
The only thing that did not quite go according to plan up to now, is the marriage proposal.
That is, she still didn’t get one.
For almost four years now, Anya has been waiting for her boyfriend to pop the question.
But it never came. Not even after moving in together.
Traveling has given her the insight that things don't always go according to plan, and that that is not per se a bad thing.
Since then, she more or less resigned herself to the fact that her boyfriend keeps his own pace.
Perhaps she has loosened up a bit over the years. Has become slightly more Dutch.
Until the question pops after all.
During de borrel (drinks) halfway through our course, Anya shows off her ring: ‘We zijn eindelijk verloren!’ (We are finally lost!)
‘Jullie zijn verloofd?’ (You're engaged?), I correct her. ‘Gefeliciteerd.’
The relief and joy, however, prove only short-lived. Because, now that they are planning the wedding, they run into all sorts of new hurdles.
How many guests is customary to invite in the Netherlands? More precisely: how many from each kant (side of the family)? This can make Anya pretty anxious.
Her boyfriend takes a practical stance. As long as it’s a fun party, who cares?
Right?
The most insurmountable obstacle, however, is getting her side of the family to Amsterdam for the wedding at all.
Is it appropriate to nevertheless go ahead with the whole event? Or will they have to wait? And for how long?
The rest of Anya's planning depends almost entirely on this one step.
But, the mere idea of having no one from her side at their wedding is pure agony.
‘We zijn verloren’, Anya sighs, now using the lingo in a more fitting sense.
*Read my earlier column on Anya.
I teach NT2 (Dutch as a second language), mainly to young internationals who came to Amsterdam for or with love and intend to stay. The conversations reproduced here were all held in Dutch. For privacy reasons the names are fictitious.
Huwelijkslingo
Het huwelijksaanzoek - marriage proposal
De verloving/zich verloven - engagement/getting engaged
De bruiloft - wedding
Het huwelijk - marriage
Trouwen - getting married